i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
