I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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