i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this just has baby written all over it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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