It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
