My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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