What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
