so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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