ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
