you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
