We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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