I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
