yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she peed on how many people?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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