Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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