Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize