Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
