I'm really into asian looking animals
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
