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i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
