do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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