so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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