Jerry, you need to find god
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
