4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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