just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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