The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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