Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
