she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize