somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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