a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
