I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She is in my trunk
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
