And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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