dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have demons in me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
