True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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