I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Let's paint friendship bongs
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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