you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize