The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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