either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
