Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
