Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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