Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dignity is for republicans.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
