Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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