Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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