...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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