Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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