i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
third nipple confirmed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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