No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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