I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Farmville is her only friend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We are all done wearing pants today
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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