it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
