he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
