I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You're a waste of cheezeits
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
