Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
