either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
BRING THE BAGELS
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
