Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
