How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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