Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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