Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
