She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
