Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
