I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
