If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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