my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
