Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
