So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
