porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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